I love rambling cos it makes me seem smart and geeky (insert smiley face) ... If only these people know that i've never come first position in school; well except at M.Sc level where I just liked the sound of my Masters award: Computer Forensic...sounds very gen geun, but its my LIFE and my blog so please stop reading. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM GOING TO WRITE BUT PICK A LINE and define it to suit you, cos I call it:
LIFE
There's no definition or explanation, no smart words or philosophies. Life is Life and weather you like it or not, most of you were born as a result of unprotected sex, valentine sex, mistaken sex, supposed love, constant tries, the need for a male or female child, societal pressure and most times a "mistake". Don't even try to make sense of that cos I really just wrote crap and we still wanna rationalise or disagree and that's why it is called life. We are alive and we will die someday so big deal: live with it and make the most of it. Don't try to be to smart about things, learn to see them for what they are. No one really cares about how smart or dull you are, they need your acceptance as much as you need theirs...I call it Life!
Who are you? I ask myself that question all the time and truth is, we define ourselves based on other people's definition of us and in most case it may make or break you cos 99% of the time we are busy worry about what a certain person or people will think about what we are doing, who we are and why we do what we do. Seriously we don't know who we are cos life is a discovery and we learn everyday. Sadly, we will always care about how we are viewed by the next person, the society or a certain person... The fact that you give a flipping hoot about a particular person's opinion more than every other person around you makes you wonder sometimes if this is LOVE...
LOVE
Love is not overrated or underrated, Love is the most lied about word in the world. Why? I don't know...but someone already agrees with me. People Lie that they are in love, People lie that they are not in Love, some lie that it does not exist, some say love is equal to stupidity, some say I love you but they really don't. I just realised that the reason why the word love is the most lied about word in the world is because I had a moment when I heard Eminem and Rihana in the song, "Love the way you lie"... frankly, that on its own was a lie but some of us in our heads felt we could relate with the song cos of its deep lyrics...what they meant is... "I hate the way you lie" (ok I'm digressing). As senseless as it sounds, Love is lied about cos we know the truth and it is just one of the factors that define us in "Life".
I believe in love, I also believe I dont know how to define it cos it doesnt have a definition. It is what it is and its a feeling you get. Its realer when you cant explain it cos true love is not explained, it is something you live and in most cases you outlive it before you know you lived it...this is the point where I tell you about my recent experience where I fell in love and bla bla bla and this is where you are wrong (amebo people). I'm crazy cos I feel you don't have to say it or know it, Love is Love and it exists based on your definition...now the annoying part is that with love, comes a lot of opposites: hate, Indifference, tolerance and at some point ..."LEAVING".
LEAVING
Life is like a motor car, it comes and goes, it arrives then it leaves. REPHRASE: Love is like a car, it comes then leaves (at some point). But really does it? does everything come and go? Do you really need to understand what I just wrote? Life and love gets annoying when you have to leave. it may be leaving love, leaving life or just leaving one place to another, then another. I've had to travel a lot in the past 3 years and I realised how much you miss people and places when you realise that you have to leave. oh well, that is Life... sorry, that is Love! whatever!!!
I really don't know what I have to write about leaving cos its a sad topic. I always have to leave, I push away people who hurt me, I push away those who love me, maybe its cos I'm scared of what it would be like when the leave me! But truth is, everything is for a reason and everything lasts for a season (e.g friendship). funny how you are all cozy with someone but you look back now and notice that someone had to "leave"? Its interesting that we keep "Living"...
LIVING...
I believe in the future, I believe things will get better, believe in a lot of things but most of all I believe in Living. living an exemplary life, Living in a way that I won't be in the other man's way. I believe that the only reason I can believe in anything is because, through it all, with all you've been through or you are going through...At least you are still living. you have the opportunity to correct your errors of yesterday by not reliving them... the truth is
Life
Love
Leaving
Living
I started writing this without thinking, I just felt I could use 4 letters and make sense out of them... After-all I'm among the living and I am thankful. I call it RANDOM RAMBLING SERIES
PS
Good luck to Uti (BBA5) ...http://bigbrotherafrica.dstv.com/Vote/
ANDY
October 2010
... iBlend! Do you???
El_Jefe Q
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Aje...
I’m confused…since when was chillin' a crime?
Sorry, I get ahead of myself. Hello people!
As any who know me will tell you, I stand opposed to any form of discrimination or prejudice. I think that it is beyond stupid to be tribalistic, racist or to discriminate any person because of his religious or sexual choices.
But none of these irk me as much as the one that has lived among us as long as I can remember. It has contributed largely to the lack of intelligence in this country. And the trip is that there is no word for it. So I have decided to name it! (I am of course open to suggestions should you have a better name)
I shall call it…AJEBUTTERISM. These ajebutterists would have you believe that anyone who had a semblance of a peaceful childhood, some privileges and a proper command of the English language, should be ashamed of themselves!?!
I’m not saying people don’t have it rough or that those that do should hide in shame, but seriously? I missed the memo that said being raised in a gutter was something to be glorified. I also missed the one that said that being crass, uncouth and generally loutish were things to aspire to.
Tuface sang a line that went something like: “just because say I no finish school, some people want to take me for a fool”. And you hear the idiots take up the chorus. Here’s the difference; Tuface didn’t finish school, granted. But he had recognizable, God given talent that he had honed over many years and a plan for exactly how to utilize it.
Allow me to school you on some stuff. It’s simple really. Butters and Kpakos listen close o (even though I doubt there are any Kpakos here…they’re allergic to the written word)!
i. 1. Every Kpako is a hustler (or uzzla).
ii. 2. A hustler’s (uzzla) dream is to make plenty money.
iii. 3. Plenty money so he and his family can live in the lap of luxury.
iv. 4. This lifestyle is the very same offence the ajebutter purportedly committed early in his life.
v. 5. If what the ajebutter had at the beginning of his life is what the Kpako aspires to possess at the end of his, then the ajebutter is what the Kpako wants to be when he grows up.
vi. 6. That is to say; the Ajebutter is the Kpako’s life ambition and as such deserves respect from the Kpako!
QED!
Please don’t get me wrong, I have nothing but respect for anyone looking to better his lot. And even more so for those who actually succeed at it.
I just have an issue with people who would make others feel crappy for being born into a certain level of affluence.
Sure, it doesn’t seem fair that they got all that without having to do any work save pop out of their mother’s wombs.
But since when was shit fair on this blue marble we call Earth?
I dance. Do I dance well? I have no bleeding idea! Do I care? My answer is always “NO”! Not because I actually don’t but because I’m not sure if I’d appreciate your answers.
I find it to be therapeutic for going through the sheer fuckery that is everyday life. The biggest problem is fear. Fear of looking foolish, fear of tripping on my own laces, fear of poking her in the eyes, fear of getting knocked out by my dance partners boyfriend, fear of accidentally touching her boobs and getting smacked, fear of spilling someone’s drink, fear of my partner feeling my erm... tumescence as she grinds against me in obedience to the exhortations of Sean Paul.
Fear causes my mind to race and my muscles to tighten. What follows has caused observers to wince and look away or at other times made them to gather round in admiration and cheer. Other times I’m asked to leave.
So what do I like about dancing? It teaches me that I cannot suppress the fear, nor think my way out of it. I may have control over my body but i cannot control how its movements will be perceived by others. My only option is to live in the moment and get to sporadic spasming. This is a lesson that I have tried to apply to my life at large.
Every day I make a conscious effort to gracefully accept my fears. - My fear of being judged as inadequate, my fear of letting down people who count on me, my fear that I have nothing to bloody write about, my fear that no one will read my stuff because they'd rather watch mediocre celebrities frolic around some silly house with cameras all over the place, my fear regarding the welfare of my parents, my fear that my sister will never talk to me again, my fear that I will die alone, my fear that the scar on my arm is going to mutate into a cancer, my fear of impending National crisis, cockroaches, random violence and dirty bombs -- and work anyway.
The result has been astonishing. I believe my work is better than ever. I have also tried to apply this lesson about fear to my dealings with women and other awkward personal relationship. That hasn’t worked out as well.
I think I need to keep dancing and keep my head up.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
I believe?
I'd like to take this opportunity to share with you some of my personal beliefs.
I believe that everyone thinks they can write. This is not true. It is true, however, that everyone can try.
I believe that the Laws of Karma do not apply to show business, where good things happen to bad people on a fairly regular basis. I believe that what doesn't kill us makes us bitter. I believe that the obsessive worship of movie and TV figures is more likely to produce emotional stability and gain than waiting for the government to do right or for the Super Eagles to win ANY trophies.
I believe my parents are secretly proud of me. I believe that if you can't find anything nice to say about people whom you've helped to make wildly successful and then they stabbed you in the back, then don't say anything at all because nobody will believe your story that you were M.I’s school father and he’s using your lyrics.
I believe that beer is a gateway drug that leads, inevitably, to vodka and somebody oughta do something about it.
I believe that the guy who invented those speed bumps in the freeway that snap you back into consciousness when you're drifting into sleep in your booze induced haze and headed off the road on your merry way to flying outta your windscreen to hug a friendly neighbourhood transformer, should be shot.
I believe that there are actually several cures for foolishness, and the best one is a “koboko”.
I believe that earlier, I erroneously believed that beer was a gateway drug that led to vodka. After intensive consultation with iBlend executives, I now believe I was very, very wrong. Beer is good. Vodka is better. Especially vodka distbrewed by major manufacturers, and enjoyed in a responsible fashion.
I believe I've spent my life expecting people to behave in a certain way. I believe that when they didn't behave according to my expectations, I became angry, sad, confused and occasionally fearful. I believe these expectations are the reason I've been angry, sad, confused and occasionally fearful more than I care to admit.
I believe that in public bathrooms, using the "children's urinal" will make you feel like a giant.
I believe making a porn movie that lasts longer than ten minutes is pointless.
I believe that sometimes sex just seems like a lot of work.
I believe that most of us only floss so that our partners or dentists will be proud of us.
I believe that even when asked, a man will never be able to "talk dirty" to a woman without feeling like a complete idiot.
I believe making a porn movie that lasts longer than ten minutes is pointless.
I believe that sometimes sex just seems like a lot of work.
I believe that most of us only floss so that our partners or dentists will be proud of us.
I believe that even when asked, a man will never be able to "talk dirty" to a woman without feeling like a complete idiot.
As a result, I now believe my expectations are the real problem. I believe that everyone has this very same problem, and they ought to start acting accordingly...
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Moments...
There are those moments when I am hit with an inexplicable and overwhelming impulse to write... It’s like a tsunami surging from my insides and threatening to burst right the through the walls of my body if I do not translate this swirling mass of pure compulsion into words.
When started writing this post, I was firmly in the throes of this maelstrom...
Thank God the feeling has passed!
#okbye!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
BACK AGAIN... WHHHHEEEEEEEE!
This is my selfish post.
So, here I am. It's been quite a while on my internet hiatus and my! What a change it has been for me. Seriously, it's like I'm alive again all over. If any of you are like I was and attach yourself to the teeth of the internet looking for the love and answers to life that you cannot seem to find otherwise, I have one bit of advice for you…STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD!!! Just get away from it every now and then and see what happens.
For instance, did you know that they have this thing in the evenings that's just fucking spectacular? It's called a "sunset." I think it's supposed to be like a TV set, only you can't change the channel or pop in a DVD if you get bored. Still, it's absolutely fantastic. I can't believe I've never noticed it before. Perhaps now that I have internet back, I'll Tivo it so I can catch it again.
Also, there is this thing in the large room outside my house (they call that room "outdoors") called "wildlife". I'm not sure how I feel about this yet. I like those… erm…birds and I'll see if I can't find an MP3 of their work on NotJustOk.com, but I don't like the way that the dogs were eying me. I bet they're on my FB page now looking at the pics I have. Well, if they want to be friends they can just forget it.
Oh, and have I mentioned that I've rediscovered this outstanding recreational activity called sex? Did you know that TWO people can do it together? When did they dream that up? I bet it was the Japanese... I mean, the Wii... Playstation... they always have great ideas to pass the time.
Anyway, if you ever have a chance, tear your umbilical cord out of your computer or BB every now and then and take a look around. If you don't, you'll be surprised at what you're missing.
Of course, be sure to visit here regularly. You can do that on mobile phones now, I hear.
Anyway, in a tad bit more seriousness, I am back from my little forced vacation and now I'm languishing in 56Kpbs (or less?) land once more. I'm told that broadband (I mean real broadband, not that multi-links shite) will be available in this area soon. Glo, here I come. I'm getting tired of this CDMA shit. Forgive me, but isn't this 2010? If we don't have flying cars or spaceships, I at least want high speed internet!
A certain someone thinks I should up the intellectual content of the blog…I’m confused.
So, I threw out a small challenge in my immediate circle. The challenge was that they were to ask me any question they wanted. Not like in those daft BB and FB messages sent back and forth by those mindless-frothing –at-the-mouth BBM broadcast ‘bots, but like real life questions. Stuff that we take for granted and don’t really wonder about but do not know!
Here’s one for you; What do you call the little plastic bit on the tip of your shoelace?
While you are furtively trying to figure that out, feel free to ask any questions of your own in the comments section.
In other news, this is really the second time I've touched the site since the post so the update is miniscule to say the least. This weekend though, I promise it will be meatier.
So, hide your vodka... El-Jefe is back and uglier than ever.
…iBlend…do you?
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
been a minute...
Ok so, I’ve not been posting up blogs for a while. I wish I had some profound reason to give as to why I have not. I don’t.
But in the course of this hiatus, I have found Ivory Malinov (her twitter alias), you just HAVE to check out her blog @ madphury.blogspot.com. My friend, bro and fellow blender has started his own pretty cool blog; “andytrueword.blogspot.com and of course, ones I truly love; cbsuga.blogspot.com and www.billuko.com.
Now this post is a departure from the norm cos it’s mostly gonna be ramblings. Not cos I chose it to be this way but because that’s just how I feel right now.
I was just about to give up this whole blogging thing when I got a bbm request from one ……… and as I accepted it (not knowing who this was), he told me that he actually read the blog! My mind reeled from the shock! Someone actually reads this stuff? He then stepped the shock factor up a notch by giving a certain “Miss Khimmie Baby” my BBpin. And she literally scared my pants off! (a story for another day).
So here I am, still me, and writing God knows what, for the simple reason that I have been inspired by you! The readers! And I just wanna say: THANK YOU! THANKS FOR READING!
Right! Now that I’ve gotten the mushy stuff outta the way, let’s get back to the anarchy and brutal honesty, shall we?
iBlend! Do you…?
So, my love life has been down, down and then sorta up. Nigeria has a new Presido. You are still you and not much has changed...and I just looked at my phone and yeah... my love life is off again! just brill-fucking-iant!
But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t still fuckery out there!
So, let’s explore shall we?
Monday, April 26, 2010
I wanna know... Pt 1
After spending the last few years peacocking about and living in the escapist surrealness that is the Abuja social scene, I have many, many questions. Some pertinent and some not so pertinent. But since I am still reeling from being struck by the supreme power of ignorance and foolishness, as is always the result when one allows oneself to get dragged into a "beer parlour" argument, I shall only ask the less pertinent questions. In Hades, sorry I mean Aristotle (a night club located in Ceddi Plaza), whose idea was it to frequently blare off that bloody siren every time some one buys a "high end" drink? I mean, the damned thing sounds like a cross between a crucified banshee and a foghorn in labour! That's my reward for spending my hard earned money? And I've been there often enough to know that they'll set it off randomly whether or not a peanut is purchased. Why? You can see them, with malevolent grins pressing the damn button! And you can almost hear their thoughts;"dance slaves! Or I'll rupture your eardrums! Bwah hahahahaha! At Play. Why, oh why are those bouncers on a never ending ego trip? Personally, I don't get any crap from them...anymore. But sometimes watching them act like letting you in is the equivalent to donating the liver your mother so desperately needs to live is downright annoying. Oh, and this is probably just me, but why does being in the X.O VIP lounge make me feel like I'm in a mental institution? Aqua! I know, I know...the high whore count isn't their fault...its located in the Sheraton for cripes sake! But more unsettling...does Jolly Cole have sweat glands? That dude seems like he could come in there dressed as Santa and still not break a sweat! Cubana and A-lounge... Sigh! Why not forget gate fees and all and enforce a strict shower and deodorant policy? Hell, install a shower near the door and make 'em buy the deo! Maybe its just me but after creating some reasonably lovely edifices to put your club in, having it smell like the place armpits go to die is not my idea of the right "ambiance"! Eden, nice, nice...for a hallway. And why does it always seem like you're crashing a party meant only for the owners and their 6 to 10 friends? Their always hopping about, partying harder than the customers, hogging the waitresses, so much that I often want to walk up to them and say "happy birthday". Cafe 24: No other hang out spot illustrates the need to "Light Up Nigeria". Do they make money? Yes. Are their prices low? No. Do they consider investing in a functional generator or inverter?... Don't be absurd! Oh and I have to ask; is it located just beside the twilight zone? 'Cos it has to be the only place where it takes longer to make a club sandwich than it does to make Fried rice, curry sauce and chicken. Hmmm. Terminal 5: what are you? Night club, lounge., what??? The Basement? 'Nuff said! Mediterranean Rec Centre. Its got everything! Basketball, swimming, ping pong, music school, beach volleyball, go karts, ampitheater, soccer, karate dojo, health foods, tennis...even hammocks! But no people? Huh? Well, that'll do it for now. Feel free to ask any questions of your own in the comments section. I'm off to pursue deeper inquest as to the location of Jolly C's sweat glands! Oh and if you do two things this week, they should be: 1. Get a copy of Jesse Jagz's blazing new album, "Jag of All Trades" 2. Get your copy of the "City Crawler" magazine
3. Come get Blended, iBlend style at TGI1st at the Silverbird Galleria!
what? that's three things? whatever man!....iblend! Later, crazy people!
